Ways to Honor Your Child

When it comes to infant loss, there is no one way or right way to navigate the new terrain you find yourself on. Everybody grieves differently. For some though, finding meaningful, tangible ways to honor and remember their baby can be very helpful in their grief journey. I once heard someone explain grieving and mourning as this, that grieving is all the emotions you feel and mourning is the physical act you put to those emotions. If having a physical outlet for your grief might help to soothe your soul, here are some different ways to honor your child.

• Light a candle.

  • It can be any candle, or one that you have ordered special in memory of your baby, but sometimes the act of burning a light for them can help you to feel just a little bit more connected. That you are doing something intentional for them.

• Plant a tree, flowers, or create a garden,

  • Physical exertion with a purpose can be very helpful, especially in early grief. Planting a tree or making a garden creates a physical space that you can go to to grieve and tend to your baby.

• Do a random act of kindness in your baby’s name.

  • Little acts like paying for the person behind you in line, offering to put someone’s grocery cart away for them, or donating blood are all easy ways to continue to spread your child’s light into this world. The MISS Foundation has “kindness cards” that you can give out each time, or if you don’t feel comfortable sharing your baby’s story just yet, you can put them in a jar after each act of kindness. At the end of the year you can look back at all the good and impact your child has had on this side of heaven.

• Wear a favorite color, piece of jewelry, or clothing that reminds you of your baby.

  • Not everything we do to honor and remember our children has to be known to others. The intention of wearing a certain piece of clothing or bracelet in memory of your baby can bring the smallest slice of comfort. And it can be something special that’s just yours, for your child.

Whatever you decide to do, or don’t do, to honor your baby nothing changes the deep love you have for them. But, these tangible ways to remember can help act as a way to parent our children, even with empty arms.